At this stage in my life I don’t think I'm going to write anything worthwhile.

domingo, 21 de abril de 2013

I'm not a popular person, people think I am, but I'm not.
I don't go to party so often, and don't drink enough to consider myself accepted.
I feel alone most of times, even with people around. That's a feeling we all acknowledge from time to time. But in me, it's like an infinite atmosphere which catches me. 
I tend to overthink, and forget to live sometimes. When I'm reaching my dreams in my mind, everything seems correct and calm.
 I don't even know what love is at it's finest. 
I never had a serious relationship with a person that did not involve in a swift outcome.
They kissed me, and I almost could feel their soul but they couldn't feel mine. That was a wrecked palpation of what humans can do with your own heart. 
I let them touch my skin, and for a moment I feel the freedom more than ever. No clothes, no rules. Just our bodies on the bed, or on the floor. Feeling humans with no worries. No schedules to follow, no hearts to be broken.
But instead I was really broken. My heart couldn't find its purpose and my brain just desisted on working. So I decided to put my clothes on, kissed their forehead and left as fast as I could.
That was my signature. I used to kiss their head, or their noses and leave. Our lips wouldn't touch anymore. 
They remember me like a delighted person. A woman which happiness touches her chest everyday. But nothing further. I'm not a happy person, either sad. I just get intoxicated sometimes by the rays of the sun and feel joy inside of me, and the urge of smile or laughing for the whole day and make people happy. But when the sun hides, I don't feel right. I feel lost, and my dirty brain starts to working and make things look worse.
I'm not a normal person either, I assume. I only can describe myself like a storm of contradictions.


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